Lessons Learned: 12/19/07

Alright well today was an amusing day to be certain. I went into the office, had lunch with one of my esteemed colleagues, talked to a mind-boggling friendly customer and then... well, who's to say what's next. In this short span I wound my mind around some wisdom.

OK, this first bit. Well, it's pretty damn obvious but it's probably the most important lesson I've learned in a REALLY long time. And the funny thing is that at the time of learning it I didn't really realize I was learning it. The whole thing can be summed up in one simple word. One word, five letters: relax. Yeah, I know... that's it though. It's not something I do well but I think it's the key to actually enjoying ANYTHING and you all know how important enjoyment is this to me this week. In the past I've tried to enjoy by planning... and fretting... and worrying... and making contingency plans... and carefully measuring each word I ever utter... That's all bullshit. You don't plan enjoyment. Enjoyment is sitting down and turning off exterior concerns and just letting things happen. Whether this is wandering in the woods enjoying nature or reading a book to a group of children in your best "Mama bear, papa bear, baby bear" voice the result of simply letting yourself simply be in the moment and go with the flow of what's going on around you is just simple, teary-eyed, euphoria. It's the difference between nervously worrying about what the other adults will think if you read "...and somebody's been sleeping in my bed and they're still there!" in falsetto in a crowded library... and just doing it with as much gusto as you can to impress your tiny audience. The words are the same but by relaxing and showing people who you are with sincerity and honestly you take what might be a mundane task and turn it into real enjoyment. If there's one unalterable directive I could brand across my being this would be it.

When I was in the office on Friday the atmosphere was almost festive. People were out and about chattering away with abandon. It reminded me of my first job out of college where we operated like one big party every day... Today when I went in the company had returned to its normal sepulchral state. I was only actually in the office for half an hour or so but the whole time I expected a half-decomposed corpse to amble around the corner at any moment and start eating people's brains. Perhaps the tension was internally created but the place had a strong aura of "leave me alone I'm friggin' workin' hea!" No doubt at least half of that is generated in my own psyche but it's hard to talk to anyone in a place where 20 cubicle occupants are working away in dead silence.

Lastly, an unnamed but high-ranking company official called me an 'enigma'. I can't help but laugh at that. Of all the people you know (if you're reading this) I have to be the LEAST enigmatic. For Lord's sake, I've published a detailed and intensely personal autobiography for any yahoo with a browser to read. This is the 207th blog entry I've posted about random crap in my life and it's not like my entries are about celebrigossip crap. You've got the innermost workings of my mind floating around on here. So if you want to, you can call me lots of things... but enigmatic... that's not one of them. I'm an open book.