There’s a fundamental problem with the world and that is that there’s no quick, easy and reliable test for crappiness. Let me illustrate. I had this idea that it might be amusing to write my autobiography. So, to test the idea I sat down and wrote. I wrote for hours and hours and then more hours. Then, after I’d spent 5 hours on it even I lost interest. Now if anyone’s going to have an interest in my life it should be me but I’ve managed to bore even myself. So in this case, the crappiness test took about 5 hours.
Illustration the second. The other day I was doing the laundry or some other similarly mundane task when my mind started to wander into song parodies. It occurred to me that the Zager and Evans tune “In the year 2525” could be adapted to revolve around parking. It should be understood that I work for a company that does parking software so this isn’t quite as silly as it seems. Anyway, I was as far as “In the year 2525, if man can still drive…” when my mind again wandered onto a much ‘better’ idea.
In this much better idea, you could take the Nirvana song “Smells like Teen Spirit” and rework it into a religious tune. There are a lot of Christians around here so I often think about things to entertain them for some reason. Anyway, I got as far as the Chorus:
“Smells like the Holy Spirit”
Sure hope God hears what I’m sayin’
Got my bible, here in my hand
Soon I’ll start up, my own punk band
Who’s the best now, of the apostles
If you ask me, wow, I like pa-ul.
Yeah!
Luckily, in that case the crappiness test only took about 10 minutes. Sometimes nature does smile upon us once in a while… or perhaps it’s laughing.
7 comments:
You think writing your biography was a crappy idea? Balderdash! Keep it up. I'm still waiting for the part where you start your career so that I can find out what you think of me.
I liked reading about your life and I'm sure your children will too one day...
Fine, fine. But we're getting into the part where I actually remember things and the text could become interminably drawn out. One could spend an entire lifetime writing such a document.
Yes, but it would be a guaranteed best seller since you'd be dead.
PS How the heck did you stumble across my blog???
Brad,
Okay, I realize that the world does NOT need another Zager and Evans parody but I completely do NOT get why creating one would kill me. Perhaps you can elaborate?
Oh, I found your blog at random with that 'Next Blog' button. it's handy but you have to wade through a lot of annoying crap. Consider yourself part of the 'not annoying crap', by the way.
Hey Rob,
I only meant that if it would take a lifetime to write a lifestory, then at the end of the story you would be dead, given that that is when the story is done. Live on , bro', live on.
Brad,
Ah, I see. That's certainly a less morbid interpretation. :)
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