I've been keeping an eye on myself lately. Having written in this blog before about my relationships with others (or lack thereof) it's surprising that I haven't really looked at my own actions with a critical eye. Frankly, after having given myself a good inspection, it seems probable that I'm a jerk and a whiner. That said, I'm seriously annoyed that nobody has bothered to tell me so yet. Yeah, I know that just saying that is in itself being a whiner but let's carry on and look at some of the available evidence.
We'll start with Friday because that's as far back as I can remember. Friday was my 35th birthday and as such I received 4 'go to lunch' invitations all of which I turned down for various and silly reasons. One, amazingly was from an almost total stranger. While out geocaching another (female) geocacher showed up. After poking around in the weeds and swapping medium-sized talk for half an hour we finally found what we were looking for. She'd stated previously that she was meeting a friend for lunch and as we were saying our adieus she invited me to join them for lunch. Unsure whether she was just being polite or whether she was serious about her invitation I simply dodged it in a very awkward manner. Fifteen minutes later as I was sitting in the Qdoba parking lot eating a burrito in the car by myself the words, "What the hell is wrong with you?" floated through my mind. Fate had tried like hell to make my day a pleasant one by giving me some company and I'd done everything in my power to thwart it. I'd turned down 3 invitations and when the 4th arrived from out of the blue from a TOTAL STRANGER I'd even turned that down. And for what? So I could sit in the car and eat by myself? WTF?
Later, I realized that the 'lunch with stranger' debacle was actually a double death. I'd been internally complaining for a while that my available pool of 'geocaching partners' was basically empty and then, like magic, this person shows up and what do I do? Well of course, I'm rude to her (though unintentionally). Here, as before, fate threw me an option and I stepped on it for no reason. In retrospect I'm sure this is not the first such opportunity I've had to make a pleasant connection with another person outside of work but it seems I've consistently managed to bungle them.
Sadly, my family relationships reside in a similar vein but primarily due to neglect on my part. My in-laws, despite that the fact that we actually have quite a bit in common, no doubt believe I dislike them. Quite the contrary, I enjoy them immensely but consistently fail to make time for them. Similarly, I don't make an effort to see my father and step-mother as I should. My mother, of course, has asked to be left alone so she doesn't occupy space on the Christmas card list but that's no excuse for ignoring the people who would welcome my attention. All that said, we're still on good terms but there's certainly room for improvement.
The last set of people to be addressed are those from work and since they are by nature 'remote' it's hard to establish any real relationships beyond those that can be carried on via instant messenger. As of late even those people I used to know in person have started to vanish. One person I used to talk to on a fairly regular basis has refused to answer my correspondence for almost a year. Others have merely faded away never to be recovered even when I make attempts to reach out.
In summary and to restate the title, all this leaves me with no basis for complaint about my relationships with others. While it is true that I have few friends and exactly zero that I can actually do anything with, that's entirely my fault. Fate has thrown me into the path of quite a few nice people with whom I share common interests and done her best to foster bonds with them but in the end it's my job to actually make those friendships happen. The tougher question, of course, is "What am I doing wrong?" In the case of last Friday's encounter with a stranger it's apparently just sheer social backwardness. One can do little about that without practice. I tend to hide my social discomfort behind a veil of humor and it's hard to build a friendship with a clown who can take nothing seriously.
For most other people in my sphere of acquaintance I think the problem may lie in simple lack of effort. I'm more than willing to blog endlessly about my lack of personal connections but I fail to make the investments necessary to foster those bonds. That's no one's fault by my own. Last and probably least among the problems is my tendency to say (once I'm comfortable with you) whatever's on my mind. If I have any talent whatsoever it's for absolute candor. If you tell me that your deeply held belief system is based on something you heard while playing a Paul McCartney album backwards at 78 RPM then it's unlikely that I'll be able to keep the look of surprise from my face or avoid questioning you closely about it. To me, the greatest possible service you can do another person is to question their belief systems and that's often uncomfortable at first. People hate to be uncomfortable and perhaps in some cases I have that effect.
Showing posts with label geocaching. Show all posts
Showing posts with label geocaching. Show all posts
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Thursday, November 08, 2007
Reflecting on 100 Geocaches
Today I trundled out to find GCXD5E which makes 100 of these silly Geocache things I've found.
In collecting these I've tried to follow a not-exactly strict but somewhat tidy process of finding those closest to my house without major skipping rather than running all over the city looking for low-hanging fruit. This does tend to minimize driving time but raises the question of what the crap I'm supposed to do with some of these.
Take this one for example: GCYKJJ This thing is within 5 miles of my house so before I clear out that radius I'm going to have to either ignore it or spend a week trying to solve it. That said, it does actually appear to be have a solution; that is not something one can say with certainty about certain other fairly useless caches.
I'm convinced that GC10W36 is merely someone's attempt to be an ass. I realize, of course, that there's a demand for more difficult caches but when no one has solved your cache and it's been sitting there (4.3 miles from my house) for 8 months you have to begin to wonder about motives. No doubt someone will eventually find the answer (by brute force if nothing else) but at this point I'm not motivated enough to bother. Why not just encrypt the coordinates and directions with MD5 and be done with it if you don't wish the cache to ever be found?
Last on my tirade are the 'crazy requirements' caches like GC1601V. While I agree this is doable it seems to take what should be a simple hobby and change it into a long-term lifestyle choice. Again, there's a place for this but from my lowly position at 100 caches it's hard to relate to life amongst such stellar objects.
All the complaining aside, I have to admit there are some good caches out there but they're outnumbered 2:1 by crappy ones that require only the ability to drive and a working pen. I'm far from a genius at this pastime but even I tend to grow bored of looking through bushes and under parking lot light poles. I suppose I could always park a mile away from the light pole and at least get some exercise out of it.
In collecting these I've tried to follow a not-exactly strict but somewhat tidy process of finding those closest to my house without major skipping rather than running all over the city looking for low-hanging fruit. This does tend to minimize driving time but raises the question of what the crap I'm supposed to do with some of these.
Take this one for example: GCYKJJ This thing is within 5 miles of my house so before I clear out that radius I'm going to have to either ignore it or spend a week trying to solve it. That said, it does actually appear to be have a solution; that is not something one can say with certainty about certain other fairly useless caches.
I'm convinced that GC10W36 is merely someone's attempt to be an ass. I realize, of course, that there's a demand for more difficult caches but when no one has solved your cache and it's been sitting there (4.3 miles from my house) for 8 months you have to begin to wonder about motives. No doubt someone will eventually find the answer (by brute force if nothing else) but at this point I'm not motivated enough to bother. Why not just encrypt the coordinates and directions with MD5 and be done with it if you don't wish the cache to ever be found?
Last on my tirade are the 'crazy requirements' caches like GC1601V. While I agree this is doable it seems to take what should be a simple hobby and change it into a long-term lifestyle choice. Again, there's a place for this but from my lowly position at 100 caches it's hard to relate to life amongst such stellar objects.
All the complaining aside, I have to admit there are some good caches out there but they're outnumbered 2:1 by crappy ones that require only the ability to drive and a working pen. I'm far from a genius at this pastime but even I tend to grow bored of looking through bushes and under parking lot light poles. I suppose I could always park a mile away from the light pole and at least get some exercise out of it.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Random Babbling for 10/11/07
It's been quite a while since I've written down any original thoughts so now seems like a good time to do it.
Tomorrow is my bi-weekly 'Lunch with Human' with a co-worker. It's funny really that the more I get to know people the more I enjoy them. Years ago I loved mathematics because I believed fervently that mathematics was the underpinning of all reality. That you could, if you tried hard enough, predict every event in the universe given a large enough sheet of paper. Then I loved computers because they could do math much more quickly and give you a much bigger 'sheet of paper'. Over the years though, I've come to the sad conclusion that the real world is much more complicated than that and that most of that complexity comes about because of people. I love people with all their unutterable emotions and motivations. It makes me absolutely giddy to unravel a person from their outermost appearances down to the Gordian Knot of their immortal soul. My wife suggested recently that I should go back to school to become a psychologist and I'd jump at the chance if it arose somehow. I can't guarantee that I'd be able to resist the temptation to put 'Psychological Vivisectionist' on my business cards.
After almost two months of geocaching I've come to a few random conclusions. Firstly, I'm not sure I'm amused by other people's caches much any more. After you've pulled ten film canisters from trees hanging by christmas tree hooks it tends to get a bit redundant. I wish people would put some effort into these things rather than just randomly hiding things anywhere that comes to mind in the same cliche way. I am, however, much entertained by placing caches of my own though it is a bit nerve-wracking if you allow yourself to conjure up frantic calls to 911 from random unseen onlookers. I've yet to find a consistent geocaching partner of any kind. My eldest now lives in mortal fear of mosquitoes and everyone else I've gone out now claims disinterest. Time to call Jared again I suppose.
Someone whose blog I read semi-regularly did a mimi about what books she's read this year which put me of a mind to take a look back at my own logs. I was astounded to realize that I've finished at least 3 books every month this year. Usually I get distracted for at least a few months a year and read nothing. Apparently I'm just more amused by my choice of literature as of late. I'm looking forward to the end of year literature wrap-up.
As I was driving for 23 hours last week I listened to some talk radio. Whenever I actually sit and really LISTEN to talk radio, I'm always astounded by just how screwed up we are in this country. But then I hear something that makes me nod my head and say, "yeah, you're exactly right." Some Ohio-local disembodied voice was reporting that the evangelicals were threatening to start a third party if Giuliani got the Republican nomination. His response simply, "Good, go build a third party. We're better off without you." Without the religious influence, he argued, the Republican party would drift back from the extreme right-wing theocracy it represents into something that much more people could agree on. I for one agree with him. The Republicans have some good points on their side. I don't like the welfare system as it stands, I think Government is too big and too wasteful, I don't think we should pull babies halfway out of their mothers and then crush their heads. And the Republicans agree with me on that. Unfortunately, I can't vote for them because they represent a collection of theocratic drones. If a Republican party sans religion can appeal to someone as liberal as I am then they'd win in a landslide.
Alright,that's all I have to say about all of that. Must go now as I have people banging on my window wondering what the 'Word of the Day' is going to be.
Tomorrow is my bi-weekly 'Lunch with Human' with a co-worker. It's funny really that the more I get to know people the more I enjoy them. Years ago I loved mathematics because I believed fervently that mathematics was the underpinning of all reality. That you could, if you tried hard enough, predict every event in the universe given a large enough sheet of paper. Then I loved computers because they could do math much more quickly and give you a much bigger 'sheet of paper'. Over the years though, I've come to the sad conclusion that the real world is much more complicated than that and that most of that complexity comes about because of people. I love people with all their unutterable emotions and motivations. It makes me absolutely giddy to unravel a person from their outermost appearances down to the Gordian Knot of their immortal soul. My wife suggested recently that I should go back to school to become a psychologist and I'd jump at the chance if it arose somehow. I can't guarantee that I'd be able to resist the temptation to put 'Psychological Vivisectionist' on my business cards.
After almost two months of geocaching I've come to a few random conclusions. Firstly, I'm not sure I'm amused by other people's caches much any more. After you've pulled ten film canisters from trees hanging by christmas tree hooks it tends to get a bit redundant. I wish people would put some effort into these things rather than just randomly hiding things anywhere that comes to mind in the same cliche way. I am, however, much entertained by placing caches of my own though it is a bit nerve-wracking if you allow yourself to conjure up frantic calls to 911 from random unseen onlookers. I've yet to find a consistent geocaching partner of any kind. My eldest now lives in mortal fear of mosquitoes and everyone else I've gone out now claims disinterest. Time to call Jared again I suppose.
Someone whose blog I read semi-regularly did a mimi about what books she's read this year which put me of a mind to take a look back at my own logs. I was astounded to realize that I've finished at least 3 books every month this year. Usually I get distracted for at least a few months a year and read nothing. Apparently I'm just more amused by my choice of literature as of late. I'm looking forward to the end of year literature wrap-up.
As I was driving for 23 hours last week I listened to some talk radio. Whenever I actually sit and really LISTEN to talk radio, I'm always astounded by just how screwed up we are in this country. But then I hear something that makes me nod my head and say, "yeah, you're exactly right." Some Ohio-local disembodied voice was reporting that the evangelicals were threatening to start a third party if Giuliani got the Republican nomination. His response simply, "Good, go build a third party. We're better off without you." Without the religious influence, he argued, the Republican party would drift back from the extreme right-wing theocracy it represents into something that much more people could agree on. I for one agree with him. The Republicans have some good points on their side. I don't like the welfare system as it stands, I think Government is too big and too wasteful, I don't think we should pull babies halfway out of their mothers and then crush their heads. And the Republicans agree with me on that. Unfortunately, I can't vote for them because they represent a collection of theocratic drones. If a Republican party sans religion can appeal to someone as liberal as I am then they'd win in a landslide.
Alright,that's all I have to say about all of that. Must go now as I have people banging on my window wondering what the 'Word of the Day' is going to be.
Monday, October 08, 2007
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
8/28/07 Random Updates
And so we conclude with St. Thomas Aquinas. While I wouldn't call it exactly the pinnacle of entertainment I will say that it wasn't nearly as dry and crusty as I might have expected. After wasting a month of my life with Harry Potter it was surprisingly refreshing to get something to read that had real content. All that said, I wasn't quite interested enough in the content to push onward into the second bit of the book with it's endless essays on the deeper implications of Thomist theology for the world today. Ah well, one can't have a deep and insatiable interest in absolutely EVERYTHING.
Next we push on into some more 'A' works with a bit of softer fare. There's a bit of Jane Austen I haven't hit yet so let's proceed with 'Sense and Sensibility'.
On a personal note, I think I may have found (thanks completely to our neighbors at cox-tv) the answer to my 'too bored to exercise' quandary. Today I set out on foot for the nearest Geocache around lunchtime and an appropriate exercise period later I'd returned with the laurels of success. This city is literally afloat in random bits of hidden 'treasure' and it's much more motivating to try to exercise if you actually have somewhere to go or some reason to go there. (Even if it's a bit silly really.) So from now on, all my exercise periods will be of the form: "Find a cache; find a parking space within say a mile of it; go find the cache." After 20 or 30 caches maybe these chest pains will go away.
Let's see... what else could I babble randomly about. Um, work maybe? Well, work is pretty much falling apart. Probably construed as my fault somehow but I'm going strictly to the 'following orders exactly as given' routine for a bit. If I do things right, they'll offer me a job in the department that rises from the ashes of this one.
Oh... let's see... our eldest was practicing her spelling words today and I could not for the life of me figure out why she spelled libraries: libearies. It made no sense. Then as we were coming out her 'back to school night' I noticed the display. There were Teddy Bears. They were reading books. The sign said: 'LiBEARy'. Now how in the name of Nathaniel Webster do you expect kids to spell things properly if every time they go down the hall they see a blatant misspelling. Feh.
Ah, yes. I tend not to wax technological on here because computing and technology are really (ironically) the last things I care about but I saw a new headline that made me blink: Acer buying Gateway. I'm sure I'm behind the times but since when do rinky-dink computer manufacturers sold primarily on the Home Shopping Network buy behemoth computer companies like Gateway? It's like ... um... Tandy Co buying IBM? I dunno, something like that. Clearly I've not been keeping up with the news (nor do I intend to start).
Also technews related (I swear, this is the last thing I'll bring up in this calendar year) I wondered today if the leadership team at my company read this article about the increasing ickiness of hosted software solutions.
Anyway, I think that's all. Having gotten somewhat lukewarm responses bthe first two people I approached, I've got a confirmed Geocaching partner for this weekend and make no mistake about it: we will find your little box of random junk and we will trade your inane items for our inane items. Count on it.
Next we push on into some more 'A' works with a bit of softer fare. There's a bit of Jane Austen I haven't hit yet so let's proceed with 'Sense and Sensibility'.
On a personal note, I think I may have found (thanks completely to our neighbors at cox-tv) the answer to my 'too bored to exercise' quandary. Today I set out on foot for the nearest Geocache around lunchtime and an appropriate exercise period later I'd returned with the laurels of success. This city is literally afloat in random bits of hidden 'treasure' and it's much more motivating to try to exercise if you actually have somewhere to go or some reason to go there. (Even if it's a bit silly really.) So from now on, all my exercise periods will be of the form: "Find a cache; find a parking space within say a mile of it; go find the cache." After 20 or 30 caches maybe these chest pains will go away.
Let's see... what else could I babble randomly about. Um, work maybe? Well, work is pretty much falling apart. Probably construed as my fault somehow but I'm going strictly to the 'following orders exactly as given' routine for a bit. If I do things right, they'll offer me a job in the department that rises from the ashes of this one.
Oh... let's see... our eldest was practicing her spelling words today and I could not for the life of me figure out why she spelled libraries: libearies. It made no sense. Then as we were coming out her 'back to school night' I noticed the display. There were Teddy Bears. They were reading books. The sign said: 'LiBEARy'. Now how in the name of Nathaniel Webster do you expect kids to spell things properly if every time they go down the hall they see a blatant misspelling. Feh.
Ah, yes. I tend not to wax technological on here because computing and technology are really (ironically) the last things I care about but I saw a new headline that made me blink: Acer buying Gateway. I'm sure I'm behind the times but since when do rinky-dink computer manufacturers sold primarily on the Home Shopping Network buy behemoth computer companies like Gateway? It's like ... um... Tandy Co buying IBM? I dunno, something like that. Clearly I've not been keeping up with the news (nor do I intend to start).
Also technews related (I swear, this is the last thing I'll bring up in this calendar year) I wondered today if the leadership team at my company read this article about the increasing ickiness of hosted software solutions.
Anyway, I think that's all. Having gotten somewhat lukewarm responses bthe first two people I approached, I've got a confirmed Geocaching partner for this weekend and make no mistake about it: we will find your little box of random junk and we will trade your inane items for our inane items. Count on it.
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