Thursday, April 21, 2011

Never Too Young

As a general rule I’m intensely well-insulated against popular culture. Fads and trends come and go and I don’t bat an eye because I’m listening to music made before I was born and I couldn’t tell Lady GaGa from Carrie Underwood if you put them both in front of me. So the majority of stupid things that society does pass by without my commentary. However, the other day I was listening to LBC while they were doing an ever-popular phone-in opinion show. Apparently there was a bit of an uproar going on at the moment because of something called “Junior Jazzles.” After listening to this, I’m disappointed in society.

Until I did a bit of digging on the topic, I wasn’t really sure of the origins here. It seems there’s a product for women called ‘Vajazzles’ that can be used to decorate certain bits of their anatomy. This in itself is distasteful enough and I’m not sure why a woman would wish to put tiny plastic speedbumps onto an already sensitive area of her anatomy but if she wishes to do so I suppose that’s her business. The “Junior Jazzles” product is, it seems, an equivalent product for the younger set. As repulsed as I feel at the adult version of this product the child’s version is an outright travesty. Sadder still is that a company produced and marketed this product in the belief that society would accept it. If you look at some of the things that society does accept as reasonable for small children, it’s not entirely surprising they would come to this conclusion because in most cases Americans are perfectly fine with sexualizing and assigning gender roles to even the smallest of children.

For small boys this gender role assignation doesn’t tend towards the sexual but is clearly intended to put boys in their proper place early in life. They’re given trucks and tools and other various toys to play with that illustrate very clearly their future place in society. Men are meant to do, to work, to make the world better in an outwardly grandiose fashion. They’re to be valued for what they can do with their hands and their minds and except for the occasional dress-up for Easter pictures, outward appearance isn’t so important. Boys are taught at a very young age that when they get older they’re going to get out into the world and make a difference in the world whether it’s building a bridge or driving a truck.

While the boys are playing with trucks, girls get dolls and kitchenware and fancy dress-up clothes to play with because their role will be one of having children and cooking and dressing up, apparently. The contribution of women, based on these gender roles assigned so early in life, seems obnoxiously male-centered. The woman will bear and raise the man’s children and cook the man’s meals and make sure she always looks good for the man. That way the man can do his job of going out into the world and doing the real work. This seems a sadly empty existence for the woman and I’m glad that for the most part it’s evaporating as a lifestyle as time goes on. We still give our girls dolls and kitchenware to play with but increasingly as they grow into women, they ignore these early attempts at enslavement. So I would happily report that at least some small progress has been made since the 50s.

The part of this in which we seem to have slipped backwards horrifyingly in the last several decades is that society still seems to believe that a woman’s role is to be attractive to the man. Women today seem to spend more time than ever trying to dress themselves up to meet some arbitrary and hopeless standard of attractiveness that is assigned to them by men. They primp, powder, push and prod every single part of themselves in an attempt to be sexy and the saddest part of all is that this starts practically the day they’re born.

There are a lot of practices in this society that I find absolutely revolting. You can buy high heels for children. The intent of a high-heeled shoe, as least as I understand it from my outside male perspective, is to increase the apparent length of the leg-line and make the leg more sexually attractive. Why does a small child’s leg need to be made to look more sexually attractive? What kind of perversion is that? Children in dance and gymnastics classes are typically dressed in outfits that leave very little to the imagination. What need is there such tiny outfits? Most horrifying of all, I often see children wearing make-up. I wonder what the parent’s reaction would be if they realized that the origin of female make-up is to simulate the flushed appearance of the woman during sexual arousal. Why do you need your small child to look like she’s sexually aroused?

In most cases I think that as a society we’re just ignorant of the impacts we have on our children when we assign them such stereotypical roles so early in life. When we dress them up, or worse yet, put them in a pageant, we teach them that their appearance is the most important thing about them. Wouldn’t it be better to teach our girls that they too can go out into the world and do something great rather than sit passively and simply be eye-candy or a maid for some man?

8 comments:

Laura said...

Hear hear. Well said. It's just too bad that more people aren't as aware as you are. If more people were aware and actually took action, maybe we could allow kids to be kids again with grass stains on their knees and kites in the air.

Juli said...

Hm. Well, the Vajazzling thing, I just don't get. And the thought that they make them for kids?

Hello?

I agree society is asking our kids to grow up too fast. My boys have trucks, but they also have had dolls. They cook and clean with me as much as they build things outside and use power tools (supervised).

At the end of the day, it's how WE chose to raise them. Not society.

Trebor Nevals said...

Thanks, Laura. And I like your image. Far too few grass stains in childhoods today.

And Julianna, you're right, but making that choice to go against the grain takes more work and a lot of parents just don't want to DO that work. The lazy way is to just let the media do it's magic and put our kids into nice little man and woman-shaped boxes. Pity.

Anonymous said...

While I can see your point, I also see the different society "norms". I'm not saying any of what you wrote should be "normal", I certainly would NOT allow my daughters to do any of that (nor would I do that to them). But, there are many cultures (although rare now) that a piercing or painting is a sign of wealth and of maturing. ex: "Mursi and Surma women, the size of their lip plate indicates the number of cattle paid as the bride price."

I know that is an old custom, as is wearing a veil or coverings, but there is always going to be someone that tries to buck the system in some outlandish way, and then sometimes that just becomes the norm. Not for me personally, but it just is. KC

Ami said...

When my daughter was small, I shopped frequently in the boys section of the stores. The stuff they had for little girls was, well, slutty.

I'm with you. But I don't think people spend a lot of time thinking about the ramifications of decisions like how to clothe or accessorize a child. As you said, easier to let pop culture raise 'em.

I spend large amounts of time with the children in my care. I work awfully hard to make sure that they understand there are no toys in our program that are gender-specific.

As a result, we have girls who play with cars, boys who play with dolls/dollhouses and all the kids love playing with Legos.

We occasionally get a new kid who is quickly taught by the others that there are no boy toys or girl toys there.

Trebor Nevals said...

KC,

Your lip plate example is outside the bounds of my point a bit. You quoted that it was part of the 'bride price'. If someone's being married then the assumption is that their society has designated them as sexually mature. So those people don't really fall under the umbrella of my post. If you're an adult do what you want, but children should not be treated as adults in that way. At least IMHO. :)

Trebor Nevals said...

Ami,

The part of your response that really makes me smile is, "...a new kid who is quickly taught by the others..." That's wonderful because that means that the lessons you're teaching are self-promoting. As they might say in the 60s, that's a movement! Very, very good. Gives me hope for the world. :) [not that I really doubted, but more hope]

Anonymous said...

Well begun is half done.