Friendship… such a funny word. Merriam-Webster defines friendship as “the state of being friends.” Gee, thanks, very helpful. It goes on to define a friend as “one attached to another by affection or esteem” or “one that is not hostile.” So basically, according to our friends at the dictionary company, anyone with whom you are not currently at all-out war is your friend. That seems a very broad definition but not really all that factual. By that definition, I’m friends with the entire world.
Personally, I have to say that the requirements of friendship are a wee bit more stringent. Let me put on my lexicographical hat on for a moment and give it a shot.
Friend: One with whom a person has regular and meaningful social interaction across bounds of convenience.
Boy, looking back at it, that’s pretty opaque. The best way to do this may be by example. So that guy that you see at work every day and exchange break room chit chat with, he’s not your friend unless you have some interaction with him outside that convenient little box of just happening to meet in the break room. The girl across the hall that you work with on that project for six months and then never speak to again, she’s not your friend either until you ask her out. It’s not until you break through the limits of ‘just happen to be pushed together by fate’ that you move from acquaintanceship into real friendship.
Silly definitions aside, I’ve always had a bit of a personal issue with the concept of friendship. It’s like any term of esteem; when you call someone ‘my friend’ there’s an implied request for reciprocation on the friend’s behalf. If I say, “Yes, this is my friend, Jay” then it’s incumbent upon Jay to reciprocate. Personally, that seems like a lot of pressure to put on someone so I tend to refer to everyone as ‘acquaintances’. Nice and safe, nobody minds being acquainted.
3 comments:
The affection or esteem definition is somewhat circular though. You can't really define those well either. And you and your lunch. I'm tellin' ya, 3 hours out of my weekly time sheet. :) But point taken, we should arrange to have lunch. I can name some meaningless appearance in the office and see you for an early lunch at perhaps the usual place. Let me check my calendar.
Did your wife ever find out about you and that girl across the hall?
Hey, come on, Rich. That check cleared don't be ratting me out.
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