Today I received a Christmas gift. In fact, it was a darn nice gift; it was that rare kind of gift that was not only well thought out but also completely unexpected. It’s not that I hadn’t expressed previous interest in the item in question and in fact we’d discussed it at length but to say the least I was a bit surprised to see it arrive in the mail.
More surprising to me than the gift was the source. Women buy each other gifts all the time. Apparently as a woman, once you break through the “I’ve spoken to you on more than 3 occasions” barrier it’s suddenly expected that you start exchanging Christmas gifts. I see it every Christmas as I watch my wife drag all manner of tchotchkes into the house, wrap them in $7 per square yard wrapping paper obtained from school fundraisers and then in one fell swoop they all emigrate to other people’s houses. It’s like watching $15 lemmings seek out the sea. That’s just the sort of wackiness I expect and I’m used to it.
For men, it’s completely different. To my knowledge, men buy Christmas gifts for two people: their mothers and their wives. That’s it. End of list. If someone saves your life fifteen times at great personal risk then maybe, MAYBE they’ll make it to the Christmas card list. But a gift? Forget it.
So from that starting point, imagine my surprise at having received such an obviously thoughtful gift from someone who is far from fitting any of the valid gift-giving categories stated above. Now, of course, the question becomes what to do about it. Do I attempt to reciprocate? Do I slowly leak loose change into his desk and onto his person in an attempt to make damn sure that I’ve repaid the full value of the gift? Do I embarrassingly prostrate myself before him and give him thanks until he gets sick of hearing about the gift and regrets ever having bothered?
Luckily for the giver, I’ve recently been in exactly his position and know the correct answer. Just before Christmas I took a plate of cookies and treats to the old couple across the street. From all external appearances, they don’t have any family in the area and spend Christmas more or less alone in that house together. Despite the fact that it’s completely contrary to my personality to speak to almost perfect strangers let alone take them food products, I put on my best ‘friendly and harmless neighbor expression’ and took them the goodies. After 30 minutes of friendly neighbor discussion (see Missin’ the Christmas Party for more information on how that sort of stuff usually goes for me) I made it back home to my side of the street.
Since that time, they’ve bought us a box of chocolates and a bag of fruit. While this attempt to reciprocate is appreciated -- the road to my heart truly is paved with fruit products -- it does tend to diminish our initial attempt to be friendly. I didn’t take the goodies across the street in order to get something in return. I see lonely old people and it seems only reasonable to try to help. I suspect that my giver’s motives are similarly altruistic. Perhaps it’s just the karmic wheel of gift-giving passing back to me what I gave to the neighbors. So in that spirit, I’ll do the only thing I think appropriate:
Thanks, Randy. That was truly an awesomely thoughtful gift! Enjoy your trip to the orient!
That’s it. Let the wheel of Gift Karma continue in its course.
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